You know when your life gets chaotic, and you have the best of intentions to write monthly updates about all of the details and developmental milestones your baby is doing, and then you just don’t. That’s been my life for the past 5 months.
I wanted to share about when she rolled over for the first time, and how sweet the sound of her first laugh was. I wanted to tell you about her belly button that took forever to fall off and how she hated baths at first and now she loves them (well she thinks they are OK.) I was planning on writing a post about how sweet she is when she looks at her daddy, her eyes light up and her face gets this super cheesy but perfect smile that no one can fake. Boy, does she love her dad.
Not only did I plan on sharing all of the great times with you, like at 3 AM when I feed her and she cuddles on my chest, or the time we took our first vacation to the beach together and how much she loved putting her feet in the sand.
I was planning on writing about the hard times. The near impossible times, when I’ve questioned my abilities and my sanity. The days where she’s cried for hours and the moments where I can’t hear myself think. J will ask me what he can do to help me at the end of some days, and I will beg him for a quiet moment where I can have one single thought in my head, without my baby girl trying for my attention.
I missed showing off her halloween photos (she was a super cute cupcake) and her yellow polka dot bikini she wore in Florida. I failed at posting my birth story (don’t worry it’s still in progress) and have yet to feature my favorite mommy products that I couldn’t live without these past 5 months.
I’d like to say this is the beginning, and you can definitely expect a monthly update from here on out… we’ll see, it’s always the goal! Despite my lack of updates, and inability to fill out her baby book, I haven’t missed one moment to kiss, hug and squeeze her as much as possible in these past 5 months and right now that is what’s most important.
After 5 months I want to be able to say I have this mother thing down, but I would be lying. I’m a lot better than I was at 3 months, and worlds different from who I was at 1 month, but still every day Lottie gives me something new. While she is constantly learning and growing, so am I. I’ve come to realize we are going through this thing together. I’m no more experienced at being a mother, than she is at being a baby.
Together we make mistakes, together we cry and together we laugh – it’s the best… and sometimes the worst… but overall it’s pretty fabulous.
I saw your blog on MBC and I’m glad I visited. Your post is very touching because it’s something all us mothers go through. I have an 18-month old and those without kids assume that I’m an expert at being a mother by now, but really I’m not. How can we be? Our kids keep changing and so we have to adapt to them, and as we do we ourselves grow to be (hopefully) better people. I know more about being a mother than when she was 16 months old, but again, that doesn’t make me an expert. That just means I know more than I did back then. 🙂