Love something deeply without needing it to last forever.
That’s not an easy lesson.
When we find something we love, a friendship, a team, a tradition, a favorite teacher, a season of life, we naturally want it to stay exactly as it is. We want to hold onto it. We want more of it. We want it to keep going.
But life doesn’t work that way, everything changes.
Kids grow up.
Friends move away.
Teachers change.
Teams break apart.
Jobs change.
Neighborhoods change.
Appreciation says, “This is wonderful, and I’m grateful for it.”
Attachment says, “This is wonderful, and I need it to stay exactly like this forever.”
One of those mindsets brings peace.
The other usually brings disappointment.
I see this with my kids all the time. They’ll have an amazing season with a sports team, and they want the same teammates next year. They’ll have a great teacher and wish they could keep them forever. They’ll make a close friend and struggle when life pulls them in different directions.
And honestly, adults do the exact same thing.
We find a routine we love. A job that feels comfortable. A group of friends. A season of life where everything seems to click. Then something changes, and our first reaction is often resistance.
But what if the goal isn’t to keep things the same? What if the goal is to enjoy them while they’re here?
I’ve always joked that I have commitment problems. I rarely go 100% in on anything. I’ve never gotten a tattoo, partly because I’ve never been able to imagine wanting the same thing permanently on my body. Maybe that’s a flaw. Maybe it’s just how I’m wired. But somewhere along the way, I realized that almost everything in life is temporary.
Now, I’m not trying to teach my kids apathy. I don’t want them to avoid commitment, relationships, passions, or experiences because they’re afraid they’ll change someday.
Quite the opposite. I want them to jump all the way in. I want them to care deeply. I want them to love people, enjoy experiences, and build meaningful things.
What I don’t want is for them to become so attached to the way things are that they can’t handle the way things become. Because everything changes. That’s not pessimism, it’s reality.
And I’ve found that most frustration comes from fighting that reality. We spend so much energy wishing things would stay the same when life is constantly moving.
I’ve learned that life gets a little lighter when you stop demanding permanence from temporary things. You can enjoy them more fully because you’re not spending all your energy trying to preserve them. You can appreciate them for what they are instead of mourning what they’ll eventually become.
Change isn’t the enemy., Most of the best things in my life came from change. New friendships. New opportunities. New adventures. New chapters that I never would have experienced if I had stayed attached to the old ones.
The people who seem happiest are the ones who learn to move with it. They enjoy what’s in front of them without trying to freeze it in place. They let good moments be good moments. And when it’s time for something new, they carry the gratitude forward instead of the disappointment.
So that’s the lesson I hope my kids remember:
Enjoy it.
Love it.
But don’t hold onto it so tightly that you miss what’s coming next, because life is always changing, and that’s not something to fear. It’s part of what makes life beautiful.
Leave a Reply