Life works best when you aim for balance, not perfection. And one of my favorite ways to explain that balance to my kids is with the 80/20 rule.
Eighty percent of the time, you put in the work. You take care of your health, you use your time wisely. And you do the things that move you forward. And twenty percent of the time? You loosen up., you splurge, you waste a little time, you let yourself enjoy life without guilt.
Because we’ve all heard it before, too much of anything, even the “good stuff,” can make life harder. Eat 100% perfectly “clean” all the time, and you might find yourself stressed out, obsessed, or missing out on birthday cake with friends. Work every waking moment, and you’ll burn yourself out before you ever reach the finish line.
The 80/20 rule shows up everywhere in life if you look for it.
In your diet, it might mean eating mostly nourishing foods during the week, proteins, fruits, veggies, whole grains, but also enjoying the donuts someone brings to share, the pizza after soccer, or the ice cream run on a hot night.
In your time, it looks like using most of your day to get things done, schoolwork, chores, and practice. But also letting yourself binge a few episodes of your favorite show, play a video game, or do something that’s just for fun.
In your exercise. Hopefully you’re moving your body most days with some type of exercise, but you also have a day or two where you rest without guilt because rest is part of the process too. It’s a balance, and when you allow yourself to balance, you stop feeling guilt about the 20 percent.
In the way you manage your money. If you focus on saving consistently, paying your bills, and budgeting wisely, you leave yourself the opportunity to spend a little on something that makes you happy.
Even in relationships, 80/20 shows up. You can be a dependable, kind, and supportive friend most of the time, but you’ll also have off days where you need time to yourself. And that’s part of being human.
Giving ourselves and our friends the space to be 20 percent grumpy is a gift.
The beauty of 80/20 is that it works in both directions. The 80% keeps you grounded, consistent, and moving forward. The 20% keeps you from feeling trapped, resentful, or exhausted. Without the 80, you’d never make progress. Without the 20, you’d lose the joy that makes progress worth it.
It’s also a great way to avoid the all-or-nothing trap. I’ve seen so many people (kids and adults) give up on a goal because they “slipped up” once. But with 80/20, you know there’s built-in grace. You don’t have to be perfect, just mostly consistent. And that consistency over time is what actually leads to results.
So here’s the lesson this week:
Work hard most of the time. Eat well most of the time. Use your time well most of the time. But save a little space for fun, for dessert, and for moments that don’t check a single box on your to-do list.
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