Dating gets more expensive after you have kids. Not only are you paying for the dinner and drinks, add an extra $100 for a sitter.
You have to really want to go on that date and work it into your budget. For the first few years we found ourselves leaving our kids for parties or wedding where kids weren’t invited, but not getting out for one on one dates. All of our dates were spent with friends at events. What we needed to remember, and what we are making a priority this year, is how important it is to go on dates, just the two of us.
I date my husband to feel like an adult again
Most of my day I am covered in some type of spit up, remnants from breakfast or snot. Lets be serious, mostly snot. On the nights that we go on a date, I put my “real” clothes on and make up (mascara and eye liner!) and we go to adult places that we would never bring kids to, pass the hour of 8pm, and we feel like adults. Not parents. Adults. I am able to have thoughts in my head and carry on a conversation without being interrupted. You laugh at the simplicity of those needs, but I never realized how badly I craved conversations with my husband without a kid in the background yelling, or the hum of baby monitor at night.
I date my husband to feel like a kid again
Once you become a parent, you are always responsible for someone. Getting multiple kids out the door is no joke, its exhausting how much parenting I have to do in a day. My kids and I play, but in the middle of that play, I am parenting. Telling them to not hit each other, taking them to the bathroom and making sure their snotty noses are wiped. There I go again with the snot, there is always snot.
On our date nights we make sure we have fun. Whether it’s an evening of cocktails, duckpin bowling, or an event downtown, we make sure that while we are out on our date we do something fun. We laugh together, and remember how much fun we have together. It’s not that we don’t have fun with our kids, we do. But the type of fun where you don’t have to be responsible for other humans. You are paying someone back home to be responsible for your kids, for one night you can go out and laugh, and play, and feel like kids yourself again.
I date my husband to reconnect
We don’t go to movies on our dates because you can’t talk during a movie. Josh and I already watch enough tv at home. On our dates we make sure to go somewhere where we can connect past sitting next to each other watching screens. We like to remember all of the things that made us fall in love 14 years ago. It’s easy to forget those over the years, you change as you get older, and if you don’t change together it’s easy to lose each other. Date nights reconnect us and remind us we are a team outside of just parenting.
I date my husband to get out of the house
Our favorite thing to do is book a hotel and have family watch our kids over night (big thanks to our family for helping us out here!). This doesn’t happen often, our goal is twice a year, but these are definitely the best dates. Talk about reconnecting and leaving all of your stress at home. We pack a small bag, with just enough to get us through one night and we leave our mess, dirty dishes, unfolded laundry, laptops etc. at home. We park the car at the hotel and uber around so we don’t have to worry about driving. The best gift to give parents is the freedom to sleep in, with no kids screaming “hungry” at them. We love escaping all of our house projects and to do lists at home and packing up to enjoy a just the two of us overnight date.
Dating my husband was fun before we had kids… and it is still fun after kids. It’s more of a production to coordinate baby sitting, and more expensive, but something that we think is worth it. You put your kids first 99% of the time, this year I’m challenging you to put your relationship first. For one night, plan an evening out and start dating your husband!